Hey everyone.
I'm just a low ranking office minion nobody likes, rambling my thoughts relentlessly here, because I feel like no one is always available to listen to me when I need it, and no one truly understands me.
Blogging used to be a hobby I had... until I went to college and somehow lost interest in it.
Well guess what. I've been working for close to 5 years now since graduation, and who would've thought I would return to blogging???
I would've never guessed it myself that I would return to blogging after a 10 year hiatus.
So... what triggered me to blog again?
tl;dr : a week of being really stressed out at work (due to an increased workload) and a mom who had an untimely mood swing.
I thought to myself that typing my thoughts and feelings out may be a cathartic experience that can help me get through another dreadful day at work tomorrow. And the day after, and after... until I earn enough to pay for my mortgage and for my retirement.
Not sure how many of you turn to googling work-related advice to look for others who posted similar situations in online forums. That has never been helpful for me. I've been burned by the criticisms of several nasty, self-righteous redditors who say that this is the reality of corporate life, and I should just get over it and suck it up.
Well.
Maybe I am emotionally weaker than average, but just 'sucking it up' and 'getting over it' has never worked for me.
That's what my dad tells me. That it's normal to be unhappy at work because I'm paid for it, and because everyone feels that way.
But is what my dad said true??????
Perhaps I am just naive. But I refuse to believe in that. I believe that there must be some job out there that I can actually feel fulfilled to do, and be handsomely compensated (monetarily) too.
Going to share my feelings now before I talk about my bad day. Pardon my language, I'm going to be brutally honest here because I'm sick and tired of acting like what I'm not 5 days a week.
Right now, I feel like I have made absolutely no progress in my 2-year career stint in this company.
I have not made any real friends in my workplace too. But is that normal?
I cry due to work-related reasons around 10 times a year. (usually a week or less before shark week) I wonder if that is that normal? Or is it just my hormones messing with my emotions more as I get older? Or am I a bad fit for this job?
I studied a degree which I initially thought I was interested in, and ended up doing worse than I had hoped. In my first year, I realized, 'wow, I don't even like this and I totally suck at this course I chose'.
I ended up trying to keep afloat in my cohort... and I did. I got a 3.6/5 score at the end of my 4 years in college, thanks to several computer graphics and human-computer interaction (UI design) modules which I was really interested in, and excelled at.
Now I'm at my second job, which is just barely related to my first job. And after nearly 5 years in the workforce, I'm fucking disappointed that I still have no idea what kind of job would suit me, and what I like to do (that would also earn me more money than I earn now).
Thinking back, I've always been someone who loved creating art. I was passionate about drawing, painting, photoshop editing, website design, and photography while I was in school. I loved being surrounded by things I found beautiful. Until now, I choose to wear clothes I like, but don't fit into what other office minions in my country usually wear. And I don't give a damn because I still want to be able to express who I am at work, even if it means that the ways I can express myself is really only limited to my clothing choices.
Growing up, my dad always told me that jobs in the artistic industry were never viable job options. I would starve to death for sure if I tried living with an artist's salary, according to him.
